Is it really bad to be single at this point of time? Does your worth really based on
relationships?
It's a blessing to have a partner in life but it should be in God's time. Look at this point of view:When it comes on planting, we choose the right soil, seed, pot & place for it, same as with relationships. We should know if everything is in the right time, place & person. But how can we if the season, people, even our relatives & family are pressuring us?
"Kelan ka ba magjojowa?"
"Bakit single ka pa? Wala ba nagkakagusto sayo?"
"Patatas ka kasi kaya wala kang jowa"
"Landi landi din pag may time. Ang tanda mo na wala ka pa ding jowa"
Sa panahon kasi ngayon, parang "wala lang" ang relationship, it just serves as an "experience" hindi sineseryoso, but here is the thing about relationships "relationships should be handled seriously because it's a pathway for marriage". If hindi mo kayang gampanan ang isang sitwasyon, wag mo nang simulan.
Relationship is a big responsibility because it is a starting point to build your own family.
Let's talk about the reality of the season of singlehood.
When it comes to reality, madalas makikita natin ang inggit sa ating mga sarili for being left alone kapag nakikipag-kita ang mga friends natin sa mga boyfriend/girlfriend nila.
Madalas tayo yung 3rd wheel sa mga dates nila, okay lang kasi libre foods. Right? But look at the positive side of it, even though the envy is there you have your own way to be happy too. And that is not bad as long as you're happy and happy for your friend as well.
O di kaya, tayo yung mga type of friends na taga-kinig ng mga problema ng mga kaibigan nating may problema sa lovelife. Sometimes, we are the one who tells them "ang rupok mo." dahil kakatapos lang niya mag-rant sayo biglang sasabihin "Uy bati na kami ni babe/love/bb, hihi" and we ended up being "eugh" kasi binigay na naten lahat yung advices na alam natin pero ang ending, ayun. Balik sa jowa after the fight. Minsan mapapa-iling ka nalang sa effort na binigay mo. Nakakapagod ba? Maybe yes, maybe no for others.
Taga- ayiee, taga-picture, and madalas na assistance ng mga jowa ng kaibigan naten sa mga surprises. Tama ba? Kasi tayo yung close friend ng jowa nila, so tayo yung maaaring hingan ng tulong for surprises & etc.
Tayo yung kaibigan nila na super supportive sa lovelife ng kaibigan nating may jowa.
The sad side of it?
We always say "Sana ol" kasi yung feels of kilig, madalas nafe-feel natin sa lovelife ng mga kaibigan nating may jowa. Na minsan hinihiling mo, sana ako din kiligin sa sarili kong lovelife... kaso ang problema wala kang jowa.
We always ask :
"Kelan kaya ako magkakajowa"
"May magkakagusto pa rin kaya saken?"
"Bakit yung crush ko, di ako crush. At yung di ko crush, crush naman ako?"
"Bakit and unfair, lahat ng kaibigan ko may jowa ako wala?"
"Tatanda na kaya akong patatas? Este matanda"
"Lord, ano po bang plano niyo saken? Bakit ang tagal dumating ng the one ko?"
Why pressure yourself sa mga nakikita mo? Why you need to be sad in your own life?
Is relationship the key for happiness?
The good side of it?
You're free to do whatever you want. Walang magagalit sayo whenever you skip meals, wala kang po-problemahin na away tuwing nasa gitna ng exams/ whenever you review your lessons.
You have your own will.
Madalas mo bang sabihin na "magbe-break din yan, sus" kahit hindi natin kilala yung couple. Isn't that a little bit harsh?
May mga bagay tayong gusto natin maranasan pero hindi tayo pinagbibigyan ni Lord, that's why we ended up being negative on other things na wala tayo o nawala sa atin. And we may end up hurting others too without realizing it because of our egocentricity.
Kailangan hindi lang puro negativity ang nagfo-flow sa heart & mind. If we want to feed our mind with knowledge, we should invest in positivity! Appreciation is the key!
Diba madalas mong marinig kung pano magla-last ang relationship is through appreciation?
Yes, hindi ibig sabihin na wala kang lovelife, exception ka sa mga taong kayang mag-appreciate ng mga bagay. But how?
You can appreciate the love story of others by being happy for them, being there for your friends whenever they have problems, you'll help them as much as you can. You stop saying "sana ol" because you know dadating din yung time na mararanasan mo lahat ng sina-sana ol mo. Be patient.
Dahil sa mga problemang naririnig naten, natatakot tayo na masaktan.
We have the fear that tayo naman yung makakaranas nung pain na sinasabi nila. Yung heartbreak, 3rd party, naiwan sa ere, cheater, and many more.
Don't worry for all of those things. Kaya nga single ka, ibig sabihin you're worth it. At hindi ni Lord hahayaan na masktan ka lang para sa wala.
"Pain without growth is nothing."
But be reminded that fear is one of the great enemy of yourself. May mga bagay na pwedeng hindi mo magawa dahil it is your mind's protective mechanism. Huwag magpakain sa sariling takot guys.
I've read some articles on how to overcome fear, the only way? Is your way.
You have to try your best na ma-conquer yung sarili mong fears. Prayers without actions is nothing. You have to let go of that fear for you to grow, for you to experience the life lessons you need to learn, to know what your power is, to find your own strength without depending on someone.
By letting go of that fear, you're making a new room for new experiences and you're allowing yourself to move forward.
Fear is real, but always remember that God is greater than your fears!
If you believe that, everything will be possible.
You've been single for so long and you start to doubt yourself. You start to pity yourself and to see yourself as unworthy person. Why?
Dahil wala kang jowa?
Dahil wala kang lovelife?
O dahil you let yourself do it?
Mamili ka kung ano ang mas appropriate sa tatlo.
Dahil wala kang jowa: Your worthy doesn't depend on someone!
Dahil wala kang lovelife: Hindi rin diyan naka-depende ang worth mo. Lovelife is a
partnership. And that is being an interdependent person.
Dahil you let yourself do it: this is an honest confession but a hurtful one. Harsh na kung
harsh pero let's open our minds to the reality of the consequences of our decision.
You let yourself feel these 3 words and you keep doing it.
Minsan, sinisisi natin yung sitwasyon, pero ang totoo we should focus on the consequences of our actions.
~ctto
Have you ever ask yourself "Tama ba tong reaction ko?"
Or have you refrain on something kasi alam mo walang kalalabasang maganda yung reaction mo sa sitwasyon?
Just try it. try to live on what's this quote is saying.
I've tried this once, and it really worked out. My life become more easier & I learned how to be calm.
If hindi mo magawa, unti-untiin mo. Slow progress is still a progress.
You doubt yourself na wala nang magkakagusto sayo (No, God won't let that happen to your life. He has a plan, you just need to obey and follow his footsteps. Be an obedient steward of God) As God says in his bible. Nung ginawa niya si Adam, at binigay niya si Eve God said "it was good" isa lang naman ang ibig sabihin ni lord sa verse na to.
"May nakalaan para sa atin, kailangan lang natin mag-intay sa kaniyang time"
Dahil nung ginawa niya si Adam, kung makikita natin hindi rin niya agad binigay si Eve.
This is enough for you to understand that hindi lahat kailangan madaliin.
You experience self-pity, because wala kang jowa, relationship, or NBSB/NGSB ka. Do not, do not pity yourself. The pain you're feeling, use it as a fuel. A fuel to do great things BY YOURSELF. God loved you so much, so if you feel that emotion once again, always remember that hindi ka ni-create ni lord para LANG mag dwell sa word na "self-pity"
You feel that you are unworthy. Goiz, God died for you to save you! So bakit mo sasabihin na unworthy ka? Dahil wala kang jowa?
What a lame excuse!
Don't waste your life for God redeemed it by dying through the cross.
DO NOT BASE YOUR WORTH ON A PERSON. BASED IT THROUGH GOD'S LOVE FOR YOU.
God's love is the most greatest love you ever received even before you were born.
If you based your worth on a person it will be the only & easiest way to lose yourself.
It's not easy the conquer these 3, but if you believe that you can do it you will surpass your challenge. A challenge that will mold you to be the person God wanted you to be.
And that is your way to develop yourself.
This is the season of growth. Freedom.
Exploring the things you're good at. Nurturing your mind to try things you've never done before. Sometimes mare-realize natin na hindi pa pala natin totally kilala kung sino tayo.
Time will come na bigla nalang natin masasabi "Wow, magaling pala ako sumayaw?"
And other things we never knew we could actually do it.
When you're single, malaya ka. Malayang malaya sa mga bagay na pwede mong gawin without having the anxiety na "ay baka magalit bebe ko kapag ginawa ko to" or "ay sorry hindi ko pwedeng gawin kasi ayaw ng bebe ko" T O X I C!
Mahirap malagay sa isang relationship na kino-control ka at kapag hindi mo pa nade-develop ang sarili mo, kung hindi mo alam kung ano ang mga weaknesses & strenght mo. Kasi hindi mo kilala ang sarili mo. Sometimes magkukunwari ka na mabait ka at mahaba ang pasensya pero sa totoo, lahat ng yon kabaliktaran ng totoo mong ugali.
Kaya madaming nagfe-fail na relationship. Mabilis tayong pumapasok sa relationship nang hindi pa natin kilala ang sarili natin. Akala natin mahal na natin pero, infatuation lang pala. Ang ending? heartbroken ka ngayon. Mas masakit, mas doble & you lose yourself as well.
Mas naging crucial ang life mo. Mas naging complicated. Baka ikamatay mo pa.
Gurls, Bro's. Use this season as a development season for yourself. Love yourself, Appreciate yourself, do things that will help your growth as a person, explore, establish your relationship with God, learn how to read the bible, learn how to create your own safe space, treat & date yourself, give the love you deserve to yourself.
Sa dami ng pwedeng gawin, gawin mo. Hangga't single ka pa. Because honestly speaking, kapag nasa relationship ka na, may mga bagay ka nang hindi pwedeng gawin.
Relationship is a responsibility. It doesn't come from the feelings we felt. It's a choice. A commitment. Kapag nasa crucial state na kayo ng relationship niyo the only thing na panghahawakan mo para mag stay is hindi yung feelings mo dahil matatabunan siya ng emotions mo, kundi yung desisyon mo na mag-stay dahil mahal mo yung tao. "At ang commitment ay pinagta-trabahuhan."
ENJOY YOUR LIFE WHILE YOU'RE STILL SINGLE. BE GRATEFUL FOR BEING SINGLE. it is your season!
And when the time comes na binigay na ni Lord yung the one mo, alam mong walang nasayang na oras habang single ka pa. Kasi lahat ng gusto mong gawin, nagawa mo na. Lahat ng gusto mong ma-experience, na-experience mo na and that is ALL BY YOURSELF.
Wag mong tingnan na wala kang kasamang mag tour around the world, walang taga-picture, walang forehead kisses and the like.
Appreciate yourself for being there at your side. In that way, matututunan mong tumayo sa sarili mong paa. You will see your worth through your own efforts.
Have you ever imagine na isang blessing ang maging single? Or maybe you feel na para kang sinumpa? You know guys, we should practice looking at the positive side kahit puro negativity na yung nararamdaman natin. I know it's hard, pero walang imposible.
Walang madali pagdating sa simula.
Pero mostly makikita natin, parang ang saya kapag nasa relationship ka.
BIG NO NO. Hindi palaging masaya kapag nasa relationship ka. The reality?
Puno nang challenges, away, away, at walang hanggang away.
And have you ever ask some people kung may isa silang namimiss na sitwasyon?
And that is na "sana maging single uli sila". Yung season mo, hinihiling ng iba samantalang ikaw umay na umay na. Have you ever realized that?
Bakit ba natin inaasam ang buhay ng iba? Have we forgot how to appreciate what we have? Kasi dadating yung time, kukunin din ni Lord ang kung anong meron tayo & kapag kinuha na ni Lord magagalit tayo. Right? Sa sobrang pag-aasam natin sa mga bagay na wala tayo, pwede natin maoverlooked ang mga bagay na meron tayo.
Sa buhay ng mga single madaming masasayang memories, its just pina-paniwala na ngayon ng society na in order to be happy, you must find your partner. Mas masaya kapag may jowa.
It may be yes, but on the other hand. Mas masaya maging single. Kasi as I've said, this is YOUR opportunity to build yourself as a person. To make yourself a better one. To have your freewill na gawin yung mga bagay na gusto mong ma-experience bago ka pa magka-pamilya.
Once you build your relationship with someone, hindi lang pamilya mo at sarili mo ang responsibility mo.
"Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way."
-Proverbs 19:2
Sa pagmamadali natin, we may overlooked something that is important.
Para lang maging "IN" sa society? Or para makipag-sabayan sa mga friends nating may lovelife? O di kaya para ma-feel natin na we are being loved by someone?
Kay Lord pa lang, quota na tayo. Bakit kailangan madaliin ang process?
You've sinned against him multiple times & yet he still wakes you up in the morning. Isn't that love? Hindi pa ba yun sapat sayo para malaman mo na may nagmamahal sayo? Kaya minamadali mo ang lahat para lang ipa-intindi sa sarili mo ang ideal love ng society?
Tandaan niyo. Lahat ng minamadali, mabilis din masira.
Because it has no a strong foundation, out of feelings lang. Walang basbas ni Lord. Wala sa tamang time. Ni-hindi mo pa nga ma-control yung sarili mong emotion right? Hindi ka pa makapag-desisyon ng maayos. Wala ka pang deep relationship kay God.
Build first your relationship with God & everything will fall into its places.
Mahirap mag-intay sa wala, but if you surrender everything to God nothing will put into waste. Because God sees your future before you do. He's the alpha & the omega.
Let his will, be done. And you will be happy and contented for what you have.
Just trust the process. Sometimes we don't see it. But we just have to trust God that he is still working on us. On our lovelife. On our life. On our success.
God never want us to be in pain, but sometimes we have to see the good in it. We have to endure in order to break through.
I can't answer this thought because we are created uniquely. Only you can answer it. You have to reflect, to identify & to find the answer on your past mistakes, lessons & challenges.
Don't & never waste your time to make yourself a better person and to be the right person for the person whom you love. Every pain has its purpose. Every lesson has its own blessing. Every questions has its own answer. We just need to be calm & to listen in His words.
For the people who feel that they are unworthy:
"Trust in the lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do & he will show you which path to take."
-Proverbs 3:5-6
I would like to thank YOU if you ever finished this letter. It's kinda' long, but I hope I inspire & help you through my blog.
Guys, do not worry for God is always there at your side. Just surrender everything to him,
"Leave the past & be ready for the future by living in the present."
If you're having trouble building yourself / you've been rushing the process. I think you might need you pace yourself. Read this blog.
Please do heart my letters! 🤗💖