It's not easy to confess something on public... but it's not easy as well to keep the thought for such a long time. It keeps hurting...
The differences, trust, honesty, loyalty, memories are the ones that have the hardest values to let go of...
When you know to yourself about your uncertainties, consistent assurance is needed. It may seems exhausted but that's how the way it works, love needs work. It's not just a feeling...
Uncertainties are a different pathway to choose... it may give you the kind of pain that is endless, may affect your mental heath as well... memories that keep lurking in your mind are the ones who cause you to be sick...
It really hurts to feel that you're not that really important to them... seeing how much time they spent with you to that of your friends who almost make time for you.... The differences makes you realize if you really are worthy enough to make time for... make you question yourself if he does really love you or they are just busy with their things....
But the truth is, it really hurts even when you try to understand the situation/ circumstances that is happening... the truth is, it really sucks when you suppress your emotion just to understand somebody... you always ask yourself, "am I worthy enough?" and always ended up asking yourself just like a cycle that has a loop in it.
A lot of unopened letters.... keep bunching up on the notes.... because it can't be send to the right person...
The pain of asking your worth will break you into pieces...
All those things that is consistent at the first place but keeps fading out as the time passes is one of the most painful realization that God is giving for the people he cherish.
Am I worthy enough to talk to?
Is there any person who will be really "busy" and will not get the time to spend with you? Is there really a person that even when they are busy, he/she will still make time for you?
A night with full of questions will make a person insomniac....
writing can't ease the pain, and neither the things that I can do to distract myself.
Maybe the answer is, We need to put our overall trust to God and be observant on his actions.
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